Well, it’s time of the year. Honestly, I don’t think resolution actually works (or maybe just me, couldn’t keep in mind in achieving them lol) but I really think it’s a good way in stating down what were you thinking in a year ago and present, and surprisingly I didn’t wrote a post about resolution for 2016. Or maybe I deleted it? Because I’m really a fan of deleting stuff I posted online.
Looking back at 2016, I’d say it’s not so a bad year. A year that I’m lost but also (kinda) found myself back. I basically wasted the first three months of the year with doing nothing at home and occasionally looking for job but didn’t get any (back then I have no idea what I really wanted to do) and eventually accepted a sales job in a local bank’s credit card department. It’s not the type of job that I think I will ever take but somehow it helped me in knowing myself better, polished my communication skill, be brave to talk to people and be a little more sociable.
Then I had an amazing first solo trip ever to Taiwan in April, got to know a few really kind people during the trip. Another small-big thing that I never thought I would have ever done is getting a tattoo done. I’ve been wanting to get one but never actually do it, always giving excuses and letting fear to stop me. I’m glad people that I’ve met in the second half of 2016 inspired me to do so. I’ve seen how they do things they want to do without letting doubts and fears in stopping them. If there’s a reason you came into my life but ain’t meant to stay, then this is the reason: to spark the fire within me to be less indecisive and chase for things that I want.
Back to 2017 resolution, I’ve listed them down, not sure whether I’ll actually achieve them or not hahahaha but it’s always good to set a few goals for yourself and keep them in check from time to time.
- Second tattoo. Yes I’m always a fan of it (playing with those fake one) and since now I’ve got a real one, nothing stops me lolll.
- Write more. I’m a sucker in keeping my goal for this. Been saying this for like few decades ago and never seems to able to stick to this habit but at least, continue my 5-year-journal cause I… skipped last year.
- Read more. So far I’ve read three books in December (I was too free) and I need to control myself from getting new one before I finish the rest of my unread books.👀
- Travel to Cambodia & Vietnam. Now the problem is I really enjoy traveling alone but friend knew that I’m planning to go is trying to come along as well, not sure how to deal with this lol. But I’m planning to be somewhere around June. If budget allows, Singapore in end of the year cause I’ve never been there even though it’s just beside my country.
- Better financial planning. Or at least, save more. In order to achieve no.4.
- GO OUT. Stick to gym, since I’ve got a fixed working hour job. Go for more outdoor activities, been dying to go to Broga Hill (beginner level duh) and still looking for people who like to go for mountain climbing kind of activities in 2017. ==
- Ultimately, focus on career. This is the year to focus on career and focus on growing yourself. I’ve (kinda) found a job in a field that I’m really interested in and there isn’t any excuse to not work hard on it. For any other aspects in life, I’d just let them be. If things are meant to be, they will be. Work hard, be proactive, pass probation, get increment, and let the rest fall into place.
Be braver and better, not bitter.
And let’s be a better us by the time we’ll meet again. xx
What’s your resolution for this year?
Just a quick brief of things that needed to achieve or at least, have a slight improvement. Work has taken too much of my time that I barely get to stay up this late and write something. Perhaps I finally get to have a lot of free time during work recently and allow me to ponder about all these and decided I gotta start somewhere instead of just saying. Been looking into a few new jobs, none of those that I’m truly interested has given me any updates but I’m pretty sure I’ll accept any better offers from the rest. This isn’t a really bad job, I mean in terms of mentally growth? Lulz. Spoken about this with a close friend from work and making me all sentimental again, so much that I’ve learnt from here that I think I can find them from nowhere else. Those are enlightenment and experiences that perhaps, very unlikely can bring me to somewhere further but it does makes me a different person from now and then. Still feeling the presence of identity crisis but I’ve also starting to figuring out what kind of person I am, and who to be. Courage, courage, courage. If there is any reason some particular people who came into my life in this year, it ought to be this: to be brave and go for want you want. Not knowing what you want shouldn’t be a reason to stop going for it. “Everything that you ever wanted is on the other side of fear”. Also, most importantly, stop being dilemma, duh! Stop listening to so many voices from people around and lose your own. A friend once said that ‘the first thing that come into your mind is actually your decision but you chose to listen to all the chaos and doubt yourself.’ Maybe everything goes back to the core problem; lack of self-confidence. If I could spare a little bit of courage, confidence and independence from traveling alone! Be independent in decisions making, be confident in every steps that you’re going to take and, think twice? Yes, but not for thrice. It’s time to stop saying you’re afraid, and stop being afraid because most of the time, you only have one chance.
Out of nowhere, this realization pops up my mind and hit me so hard. Back then, you’ve always told me that “you’re funny” and I’d be angry at you because I didn’t like the idea of being a funny person, I didn’t quite understand what you meant. I didn’t quite like to accept compliments, in fact I never learn to accept compliments and critiques. All these time, I’m busy being hard on myself.
I hated whenever you say I’m funny, truth is I hated myself. How could I accept love from someone else when I don’t even love myself. I’ve been a tough person to love when I’ve been rejecting people to come close, from all the negative vibes I surround myself with; all the hatred I’ve been giving myself.
What a shame that it took me this long to realize what you meant back then. What a pity. *Deep breath* *Heart-aching*
Start from now, do it now. Embrace yourself. Accept criticism and compliments. If you want something/someone badly, make an effort. In the end, we only regret on chances that we didn’t take. Only from loving yourself that you could allow someone else to love you. Never explain yourself. Don’t ever feel sorry for who you are. Embrace, embrace yourself. Give yourself a break, pat your shoulder, you’ve come far enough. It’s never too late to start the change you want to see.
You came for a reason, a lesson that I’ve finally figure it out now.
Featuring #MOTW 5 . Perfect for now.
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不幸運的是在順時鐘的旅程，從高雄出發 就一直下雨。台灣連續下了一個星期的雨，而我也從高雄至台北都一直在雨中。雖然非常喜歡雨 可是難免也有一點厭煩起來，畢竟是趟背包旅行，雨天讓好多戶外活動或地點都得取消或者淋濕的狀況下進行。可是當然幸運的是，這一路不斷遇見的小夥伴，而這幸運比不幸運更為重要。
當初買機票的心情是一種他媽超想去旅行而買，因為不想總是羨慕身邊的人能去旅行。在開始成長、畢業后的人生，好多好多事情都不行總等著想要的事情自己發生。You have to be the change you want to see. 不想總是因為家庭背景環境因素等等而阻礙自己去做想做的事。比告白還容易的事，幹嘛還考慮那麼多？！“旅行不應該是獲得什麼，而是啟蒙了你什麼”，很喜歡這句。在履行后的想法是，一個人旅行好孤獨可是還是會繼續一個人旅行！旅行並沒有想象中的那麼讓人脫胎換骨或是讓人對人生有什麼莫大領悟的，或許得去一趟西藏或印度或什麼的哈哈哈。旅行后，面對的是真正人生。這下畢業也好幾個月，想清楚了未來幹嘛的嗎？沒。還是沒什麼想法，但至少清楚不能再懶散的過日子。我不知道人生應該怎麼樣，更不知道人生是不是得像大家形容的那樣，但我知道這是我的人生。
目前並沒有特別想去的地方，或許得選的話就是香港吧，去找一找小夥伴。:D 23歲的領悟，別猶豫。Stop holding yourself back. 想做的就去做。一個人旅行有些孤獨，可我就是想愛上這份孤獨，愛上一個人。我總不可能干等人生里冒出個人陪我做我想做的事。不是所有的事都非得兩個人才能完成的，兩個人有兩個人的快樂，一個人也會有一個人的體驗。I’ve decided to stop waiting for thing to happen itself.
一年的旅行經驗有好有壞，旅行並沒有帶來多麼驚人的成長。在我看來只是比較多時間陪伴自己，懂得正視生命中的缺角，更重要的是會微笑了。—— 藍白拖 《給回來的旅行者》